Vietnam

Last night we were maggot. We smuggeled our vodka into the resort restaurant in a water bottle and when no-one was watching we tipped it into our orange juice. That was my idea. Last night the food and the service was crap. The beef and the morning glory tasted like rubber and salty grass but we ate it anyway and said it was nice.

In Vietnam when you order entrees, they always come out with mains, and mains always come out in two halves. I dont like this restaurant, they dont have any tofu and we are not eating here again, only for the free breakfasts. And then only the noodles or the pancakes because you only get one egg when you order eggs.

Sam is very seedy today. We drank the bottle of vodka last night and played cards. We had a fight which resulted in Sam spitting toothpaste in my eye and me pulling his hair and kicking his sunburn. It wasn't funny last night but it is now.

We spent most of the day in bed but eventually we got hungry and had to do a food run. We walked down to the street shop and bought what they would probably sell in one week, we bought in one pop. We ended up with chocy milks and plastic wrapped sausages that tasted like catfood and prawn crackers and lots of other random unidentified foodstuffs.

We ate our sandwiches under the umbrellas and went for a swim and then an old man from Canada came over to talk to us and stared at my tits the hole time.
Tonight we are having dinner at the red plastic chair place because we know the food is good. I hope they have fish coconut curyy because thats what i want. Give it to me. I want it now.

Sam is sleeping again and I am watching the garden guy hose the chickens. Theres not much to do around here but thats ok with me.

my sandwich

I have been observing the locals here in Vietnam and have come across some bizarre and odd practices.

Vietnamese people are professional loiters. They casually make it their sole purpose in life to do absoluely nothing at every given chance.

And I like it.

90% of the people pick their nose in public and 100% of them have no problem with it. 9 times out of 10 they will try to sell you something and mostly it's of absolute no interest to you, like a pair of scizzors when you are about to travel through 5 of the most top security airports in the world.
They will sell you lighters, sunglasses, crappy bracelets, earbuds, anything! And if you want something they dont have, they will find someone who does and they will sell it to you. Most often they will try to sell you a trip on their bike and when they are not selling you a trip on their bike they are most likely sitting on it, loitering and picking their nose.

Yeah, they do some odd things, as I´m writting this a women walked into the ocean in her pajamas. I would normally put an exclaimation point at the end of a sentence like that, but this time I didn´t because I´m not really suprised, things like that happen all the time in Vietnam and I am becoming immune to it. Who knows, by the end of this holiday I might be walking into the ocean in my pajamas without even giving it a second thought.

I do love their honesty towards life, I mean, 'who cares if someone is watching, who cares if I have two different shoes on and I´m eating my dinner in a very very tiny plastic chair next to the gutter in a thick cloud of bus smog. Who cares if I sit in the middle of the footpath and I pick my feet, eat my noodles and then try to sell you pineapples, who cares!!!'

just hanging around

Mui Ne beach

We have spent the last two days living on buses (grrrrr)but now we are finally at the lovely Mui Ne. Mui Ne is a long stretch of beach filled with expensive resorts priced right up to $300 per night or even more. We found a cosy little resort further up the beach, it's right on the water and has a restaurant, a pool, and lots of places to laze about. Mui Ne is on the south east tip of Vietnam, it gets quite breezy after 11am and the place swams with wind surfers and kite surfers. There are massive burnt orange sand dunes at either end of the beach that you can fly down on a piece of cardboard

Today I had a banana and condensed milk pancake for breakfast and Sam some noodles with egg. We spent the morning soaking up the sun, jumping in and out of the pool and reading our books under the thatched umbrellas. This is my sorts holiday.
In the middle of the day we went for a walk to the other end of the beach. It didn´t look that long from here. By the time we reached the southern end we were absolutely roasting. Our skin was red raw!
We bumped into another Aussie along the beach who told us the restaurant with the red plastic chairs in the sand was the place to eat. So we gave it a go. The springrolls were so yummy and they have cheap bottled tiger.
By now I was stinging to get back in the pool and we hopped on the back of a couple of motos to take us home. We stopped to buy some Vodka and I burnt my leg on the exhaust pipe. Ouch!

Minh Tam Resort

Now I'm sitting by the pool nursing my full body burns, I´m lobster red from top to bottom, beetroot Shell!

Having fun in the ever moving Siagon. This place is frantic! Night and day, busy, fast, absolute choas! Been walking lots, Got up really early cos I'm not used to the time change yet. We lost ourselves in the many un-named streets. After cruising around Saigon crossing the road between oncoming Hondas driven by women clad from head-to-toe. I can't say my method is very complex. I look to the right or left, and just hope they don't hit me.

Today we scoped the city's attractions and took a ride on a cyclo, wherever there is a market, we found it. Bought the new James Bond movie for $1.20. Had some beer in a bar with mist blowing in the doorway. Bought some photocopied rip off books from street lady.

Its 37C outside and the women here where jeans, gloves, a singlet, then a t-shirt, then a long sleeve top and then even a parker. I mean what is going on? Are they not human? Cant they feel the heat, don't they sweat? I had to ask somebody. They wear stocking like gloves that come all the way up to their armpits, they wear hats and scarfs as they are paranoid of their skin becoming darker. Aparently they have yellow skin and westerners have white skin, and white is more beautiful. I have found skin whitening moisturiser in the supermarket!

Everybody sells something, even when they look like they wont. They will. Books, post cards, pineapples, water, rubbish, sunnies, gunga, strawberries, earbuds, everything!

Loved the markets today. Wierd stuff. Guts, tripe, eels having their throats slit, pigs ears, pigs snouts, lots of hanging meat, rabbits, frogs legs, lots & lots of dried fish and fruits, and packets of those coconut nuts, I love those things.

Today we went out to the famous Cu Chi Tunnels, crawling throught the tunnels built by the Vietkong. Very hot and can't see, don't go in them if your claustrophobic. Sam fired a M-16 at the shooting range. It gave his shoulder a bit of a kick. We visited the War museum which was a real eye opener and very depressing. Many graffic photos of amputees, deformed babies in jars from agent orange, guns, bazookas, tanks, fighter planes. We walked throught the tiger prision then we went to the bakery. Took a photo of the cake art. One cake had a marzipan goat sitting on it. Very strange.

Went for dinner tonight at La Table de Siagon, in a small alley off our street. The crispy duck was stange but good, the pancake was massive & very tastey. They have oversized goldfish in tanks around the room, flaming beef dishes, many fluffy faded toothbrushes in the bathroom and a very tiny open kitchen on the other side of the alley.

Siagon highlights

• Hammock man, always seems to be around the corner, "Ham-mock" "Ham-mock". Why do I need a hammock?

• sam giving the finger to a cheeky little cigarette boy after he followed us around the city hasselling us to buy some fags when we both don't smoke. Sam finally says "ok, I'll buy some", goes to pull out some change from his pocket & gives him the finger instead. The boy had some humour, but then soon ran off embarrassed and avoided us for the rest of the day.

• Bargain tastey food. the best spring rolls in the world. the wrapped with noodles instead of rice paper & deep-fried. Peanut chilli dipping sauce. Fresh basil & mint.

• Free cocktails on womens day. Yes womens day. Sam thought it was a crok of shit and wouldn't buy me a flower from the little kids.

• Finding backstreet plastic chair "pho" restaurant. Pho ba curry, adding extra chilli, lots of beer, walking away with plenty of cash in pocket.

• Free pool everywhere

• French toast, jam & bananas for breakfast.

• Our coin fight at Le le Hotel, Opps smashed the glass top on bedside table and covered it up with the phone. We got away with it.

• Deep-fried tofu with lemongrass and chilli

• Braised pork in claypot, makes you wanna be hungry foreva.

• Chicken feet. Yes chicken feet. Sam gobbled them up no problem. I slightly freaking out. but the sticky rice and fries shallots were delish!

After a long day travelling we arrived into Ho Chi Minh City into a crappy piece of shit airport & lined up at immigration, after 30 minutes we were told to line up at the visa line. After our visas were issued we were told to line up in the same immigration line. 2 hours later and still in the line sudden panic hit that our bags were still going round and around on the conveyor belt. Hey there they were, they were sitting alone in this dodgy airport just waiting to be stolen. Lucky us eh.

Funny enough our driver was still waiting for us, and why not for $20 US. Congratulations, our first rip off. He led us towards this shiney black beamer and we climbed into this crappy wagon parked behind.

HCMC is Bangkok x 10. Absolutey swarmed with motorbikes. Millions of millions of motorbikes. Sam & I just sat there, gobs open, unable to speak.

When we got to our hotel we had to ask the taxi driver for help crossing the road. Ha how funny, later we were told the best way is to close your eyes and just step out into the traffic, its true!

We now stuffed. Almost spend the night in the elevator with the bag boy, doors were opening as we were going up and could see all the metal bits. Bit scarey.

Sitting in Le Le hotel which has a toilet in the shower and a flooding air conditioner. We cleaned out the mini-bar of Tiger beer and ate all the coconut nuts.

Readfing the menu here at Le Le....
-Cabonara with eggs and Jam
-Boiled crabs
-Fish head soup
-Tuna fish grinds

Mmmm delish!
Think I'll got out for something to eat.